A quick question for you…When under stress do you think about what you want to happen or what you are afraid will happen? If your answer is that you worry about what you are afraid will happen then welcome to being human! Our brains are naturally bent to focus on what we fear. Sadly, this tendency does not lead to a joyful, low stress life.
Imagine this… You are worried about a meeting at work. You are presenting a proposal and there are a couple of meeting attendees who you are pretty sure will try to poke holes in your idea. The thought of having to defend your idea and the fear of conflict does not make you exactly thrilled about the meeting. So what do you do? Prepare thoroughly and then focus on the meeting going smoothly? If you are like most of us you prepare thoroughly and then imagine the conflict and ensuing arguments. By the time you show up for the meeting you have relived the conflict and tension a hundred times. Odds are you will enter the meeting feeling defensive and stressed. Not usually a great way to start!
The good news is, we can choose to do things differently. We can reprogram our brains to focus more and more on positive outcomes. To do this all we have to do is play a little game… the “What If Game.” Here’s how you do it using the example above- When you catch yourself worrying about negative outcomes flip it to positive. What if this meeting goes smoothly? What if I answer any questions calmly and confidently? What if they love my idea? What if this could be fun? What if I enjoy this meeting? What if they get excited about how my idea can help them?
You get the idea! It’s really not a hard process and yet it powerfully redirects your brain from worry to peace. Now, even if the worst happens you will be calm and resourceful. And, if the event you fear is, as usually happens, a lot of fear about nothing then you will not have wasted your precious time being miserable and tense. Try it and let me know how it goes!
You know I love tapping for stress relief so here’s a quick tapping script for you…
(Tapping new for you? Here’s how to do it… https://youtu.be/BBvhK5k8Kjw
Karate Chop:
Even though I am worrying about this I love and accept myself anyway.
Even though I am very afraid the worst will happen I accept how I feel.
Even though I am tense and stressed I love myself anyway.
Eyebrow: This constant worry.
Side of Eye: I am afraid.
Under Eye: This tension in my stomach.
Under Nose: All this tightness.
Chin Point: I am worried my worst fears will come true!
Collar Bone: My mind is racing.
Under Arm: All this fear.
Top of Head: I can’t relax.
(Before moving to the positive round make sure your tension is down to at least a 4 on a scale of 1-10.)
Positive Round:
Eyebrow: What if everything works out fine?
Side of Eye: What if my fears don’t come true?
Under Eye: What if I am worrying about nothing?
Under Nose: I love feeling calmer.
Chin Point: I am safe.
Collar Bone: What if it goes better then I expect?
Under Arm: I am resourceful and calm.
Top of Head: All is well.
Have an Amazing Monday ( and everyday!)
Leanna Fredrich, Stress and Career Management Consultant
Adv. EFT, Adv. Psych-K
Leanna@amazingmondays.com