Working with corporate employees I often hear, ” I really wanted to say this but of coarse I couldn’t.” So where do all those unsaid words go? For some people they end up feeling like a lump in the throat, as one of my client’s experienced. Others of us tuck our unsaid words and emotions in our rubber-band tight shoulders and neck, while still others load up their stomachs with sour emotions and pain. But what are we to do? We can’t spew our negative, angry thoughts at our boss or coworkers. At least not if we like food with our meals. On the other hand holding onto the feelings and choking down words just causes physical and emotional pain that we don’t want to live with either.
My dear therapist friend shared with me this simple exercise years ago. It’s called “Writing in the Writing.” It is a wonderful and safe way to let the bitter words fly, allow the emotions to flow unchecked, while keeping your job and staying out of jail! Here’s how…
- Draw a 1-2 inch square on a piece of paper.
- Pick up your favorite pen and write exactly what you wanted to say. Don’t censor your words. They don’t have to make sense and they sure don’t have to be nice!
- You will quickly run out of room and soon have to write on top of what you have written. Yay! That’s the whole point. Now no one can read what you wrote not even you.
- Keep writing until you are all out of words or bored to tears.
- Now throw away your paper, take a deep cleansing breath, shake all over like a wet puppy and go on with your life.
By the way research shows that cussing actually lowers stress compared with using other words. (As long as they are not direct at someone who will send stress right back.) So using swear words while doing this exercise is highly encouraged! Recently I held a workshop where we did this exercise as part of it. By the end many people had worn holes in their paper and almost broken their pens! But after they were done they were able to laugh and let it go. Sometimes we just have to let the words free and this is a fabulously simple, safe way to do that.
Have an Amazing Monday.
Leanna Fredrich, Stress and Career Management Consultant, Adv. EFT, Adv. Psych-K
Leanna@amazingmondays.com