In the last 9 blog posts I have covered each of the saboteurs. It may be tempting as you become aware of your saboteurs to think about fighting back against them. That never works! Because as you fight against them you are actually judging them and while doing that you are activating your Judge Saboteur.
So what are we supposed to do? Well it’s simple but sadly not easy! All you have to do is begin noticing your saboteurs. It might be helpful to give them a name. I’ve named my judge, Judge Judy. When I see that saboteur activating in my life I can say to myself, “Judge Judy is on the job!” The importance of naming your saboteur is that it provides distance between you and the saboteur. Instead of saying, “I’m a hyper-rational person” you are saying my saboteur is hyper- rational. That way your saboteurs do not become part of your identity. The fact is, saboteurs are not the true you. The saboteurs show up when you’re stressed, when you’re triggered. When you are calm and grounded the saboteurs are not there. That calm, grounded person is the true you.
Once you begin noticing the saboteurs showing up, take a minute to label them. Notice and recognize them. Then you can do an activity to distract your brain. It can be as simple as taking five deep breaths. This will help to calm your nervous system and brain allowing you to release the saboteur and deal with the issue in front of you with your whole brain.
Here are a few more ideas of what you can do when you notice your saboteur showing up.
- Rub two fingers together, really paying attention to see if you can feel the ridges in your fingers. Set a timer and do this for at least one minute.
- Close your eyes, take some deep breaths and label every thought that comes up. This one always makes me laugh. One minute I’m thinking about what’s for lunch, the next minute I’m thinking about work and the next minute I’m thinking how my back is hurting. It’s all over the place. When you notice a thought, label it and then turn your thought back to your breathing again. Do this for as short as one minute or as long as 10 minutes.
- Find an object in the room. Take a few deep breaths and just focus on noticing everything about that object: the colors, the shape, the texture. Every time you feel your mind wandering, direct it back to observing the object. You can do this from 1 to 10 minutes.
Each of these exercises distracts your brain from the stress and refocuses it on the body. This calms the nervous system and builds new neuropathways. Be patient with yourself. Just like exercising a muscle it will take time to build strength. At first doing this will work great for small triggers. But for bigger triggers you may find it hard to focus. That’s okay. It takes time and practice especially when your saboteurs come loudly knocking.
Have an Amazing Monday (and everyday!)
Leanna Fredrich, Leadership, Career and Stress-Management Coach
Leanna@amazingmondays.com
PS: If you would like coaching and support please email me.