Firing Your Inner Dictator: A Gentle Guide to Right-Sizing Your Expectations

Here’s what I’ve noticed in my decades of coaching: We’re all carrying around these internal rule books that would make a medieval monk look like a slacker. It’s as if we believe we’re somehow exempt from the basic laws of human nature – you know, little things like needing rest, having emotional ups and downs, or requiring actual human connection. The fascinating thing (and by fascinating, I mean completely wild) is that we often treat our houseplants with more understanding than we treat ourselves. We wouldn’t expect a plant to bloom year-round, yet we demand constant peak performance from our own beautiful, complex human systems.

So here’s what I want you to do, and I promise it’s not another item for your endless to-do list: Become a loving anthropologist of your own life. Start observing your energy patterns with the same curiosity you’d bring to studying a fascinating new species (which, in a way, you are). When do you naturally feel energized? When does your body and spirit call for rest? These aren’t just idle questions – they’re the field notes that will help you design a life that works with your nature instead of against it. And remember, that “realistic” isn’t a code word for “mediocre.” It’s simply the recognition that sustainable success comes from working with the grain of your true nature, not against it.